Be OK

So I am just gonna ramble for awhile and see if this help me at all. I have tried so hard to just function on a basic level that I haven't had time to mourn the loss of someone who was important in my life, and has been, even if he didn't know it, for years. He inspired me in more ways than I even knew myself. This wonderful caring man gave me my first professional job and we Staggered though a ROUGH summer season together. Everything I say just seem cheap and useless, the only thing I know how to do right now is work. I am so glad that I am here with a group of people who are so wonderful, truly these people are a family now more than ever. Every day we just struggle to truck on and help each other in these new roles we have been given and I am in awe of how amazing a group of people have been amassed in the middle of Ohio with the goal of doing amazing theatre. I have met even more people in the past week and every one of them has been all heart. I know that we will make it through this season together and will put on work that He would be proud of. Know that we miss you and your heart, mind, and humor every day.

This whole experience has put me on a path the look at my life and my faith. I find myself taking time out of the day to talk to more people, and listen to more people. I want to call all of my friend and family and tell them that I love and appreciate them. Everyone should know how important they are to you.

I Love and adore you and wish you all the best.

Between Two Lungs

So, I am now entrenched in Ohio. But to Back up a Little. I graduated with the most amazing people who I absolutely dreaded saying good bye to. So I have Received my BFA in Technical Theater:Stage Management and now have the ability to conquer the world!
Right now I am on one of my Days off from Weathervane sitting in housing and I am so amazingly sick. My throat was sore and my voice has been going in and out but today I can't breath and have spent all morning hacking.Summerstock:where everything hits you fast. So this is what has happened in the past 2 weeks, it is a little amazing, be warned.

Graduated in a Low Key and strange ceremony on Friday May 21st with the TRIUMVIRATE, Austin (my foodie Friend), Beth (the most amazing roommate and Sister ever!) and Even Elliott walked out with us and wore a mortar for a hot second. Said Goodbye to some people and had a nice Dinner with the parents and Man Friend. Then I packed my car and drove 8 hours to Ohio.

The drive was fine except at 4:30am when I got a flat tire 30 min from Granville and called one of my friends for help. My friend from Weathervane drove out and changed my tire for me, he is a savior!

Then Weathervane started, I unpacked my car, kinda, moved in, kinda, took a shower and went to get a new tire and then rehearsal. All of the above happened in 48 hours and I did not sleep at all!

I started to go loopy in MY FAIR LADY rehearsal that day from lack of sleep and I think I was a frightening sight. The next day it was on to full rehearsal for MY FAIR LADY and then we started Tech Monday, Dress rehearsal on Tuesday, and IDR on Wednesday, where we had a Tornado watch and had to hold she show and evacuate into the Children's Theater! Luckily we did not get hit with a tornado but it was still crazy.

The Next day was the Opening of MY FAIR LADY and the first day of rehearsal of THE MIRACLE WORKER. So now we perform MFL at night after day rehearsal for Miracle Worker, Summerstock is ricid and amazing. Every 14 days we open a new show, Take that 3 month long TheaterVCU rehearsal, you were stupid and uncalled for.

So I have yet to hear from the D.C. Cattle Call but people who get jobs from it last summer said that this was normal, that mid July I should be getting some things. Also I just had another part of the country maybe open up to me for work and play so I will look into that. I actually feel like I could go anywhere right now and that I should just make insane decisions and go for it becasue when else am I gonna get this chance to do whatever I want to do. It is Crazy time, not to be confused with Crazy Town who is a dirty hooker woman.

No Good Way

So this is the week! My grades are up, my paperwork is in, my bag are packed, and my emotional bags are almost packed. This semester has been some of the best months of my life so far and I am sad to see them come to an end. It is strange the paths you take when you have an end in sight, and don't have the time to pace down endless paths. P.S. this post might be long as I have not posted in a while.

I am sitting in my Parents Living Room in Virginia Beach drinking a Jack and Ginger. I drove down today to say goodbye to everyone before I head to OH. My mother made a wonderful pasta dinner with homemade meatballs in a perfect red sauce. After dinner I decided it was a perfect time to clean out my bedroom for the summer, so all of my boxes from RVA could fit in the closet. I ended up spending an hour looking through all the sentimental crap I am accumulated over the year. It started with old planners and playbills and then escalated into the dreaded ex boyfriend boxes (they all have one). Looking back through jokes I don't remember and awkward relationship moments I wish I could forget I realized that I have lived a full and gifted life already and that everything after graduation is cake. If I can conquer 4 Proms, long distance lovers, crazy crying theater teachers, unconditional love, professional actors and technicians, and original H.S. playwrights (yikes!), than I can live through the real world, and that was all just in High School.

In College the life lesson I have learned are far greater. I have learned to get what I want and how that is different than what I need, how to control a room, conquer my tear ducts, unconditional love, physical pain, make hard choices for myself, cut and run, and soak everything up like a sponge. Real world, I don't think you can throw me anything I can't handle.

Weathervane is starting this Thursday and I am more excited than I expected. My summer in OH have always been amazing and highly memorable, I am lucky to be going back.

Well, the next time I post I will be holding my Bachelor in Fine Arts in Stage Management, but about to leave by amazing and loving RVA family. Everything has consequences.

My Deepest Love and Respect for everything you don't remember you have achieved in your life.

The Falling Action

So my College experience is almost done. CRAZY! I just got here right? I don't even remember all the stuff I did here! Lets see what I can remember.
Freshman Year
Lived in Brandt room 800 and something with Morgan. (Never stayed there)
Mostly lived with Phil and Paul, we never left the apt and ate terrible food.
Read TONS of Comic Books
Worked on Medea, Smokey Joe's Cafe, Most Massive Women Wins, and SPF
Learned that life wasn't always fair

Sophomore Year
Worked on Dracula as an ASM
Moved in with Beth in Studio 54, we fought sometimes but are PERFECT for each other.
Hung out with Seniors that lived in my building.
Hung out with Marley and Trevor and Erika more.
Took Music Theory
Did Some Shafer shows, Pounding Nails... (My fave to date)
Went to SETC and started working at Weathervane.
Alot of stupid Crazy Drama

Junior Year
Still Lived with Beth and Became closer with her, seriously going to miss her
Went to more parties
PSM for Chicago
Worked on the S.A.L.T Board
Went to SETC
Worked on Buried Child
Went Back to Weathervane for Round 2

Senior Year
Came into my own more
Worked on Servant of Two Masters, and Shining City
Took awesome classes
Hung out with Trev, Marley and Austin to wonderful excess!
Worked on The Who's Tommy
Had more fun in my personal life
Worked on S.A.L.T. Board and some Shafer shows
Going back for Round 3 at Weathervane.

I think I accomplished some things. I hope I did. I had a fun time and made amazing friends and have some terrific stories. All in all I think I will consider earning my BFA a life success, personally and professionally.

Little Boxes made of Ticky Tacky

My Room is full of boxes. Absolutely full of Boxes. Seriously there is a stack of boxes in the closet, under the bed, next to the bed, and on top of the bed there are ALL of my clean clothes. I live in a disaster zone.

So I was watching a SNL Clip on Hulu and there was OF COURSE a commercial in front if it. The commercial's slogan was "what if," and it had all these woman talking about "What If" they bought a plane ticket to some awesome place or moved to this cool place or blah blah blah. I was interested by all the life choices these ladies were making due to my plethora of life choices as well, so I started wondering what the hell this commercial could be for until the "What If" started to become cervical cancer.... and what if they couldn't have babies and all this sad stuff, turns out it was a PSA for HPV. So I got all drawn in by their slogan and then bitch smacked by it, thank you PSA, you were very effective but I got my Gardasil Shot 3 years ago......so... Thanks anyways? P.S. They have HPS shots for men now, so EVERYONE GO GET THEM. I feel like it should be mandatory in the new healthcare bill, that and free condoms to everyone. I have tone of stuff to do and pack so I am going to go sit in Barnes and Noble and read free book instead, good life plan right?

2 weeks and 5 days until I move out of my Apt.
One Month and 2 days until graduation.
One Month and 3 days until I Leave for Ohio
No Pressure....

All my ducks in a row and none in the pond.

So last night I officially planned my move out of Richmond. The last day of classes is May 3rd, then I will take all of that week to pack up the parts of my apartment I am not taking to Ohio. Saturday the 8th my whole fam is coming to move me out of my apartment, everything, I will be officially homeless. Strange. After I got off the phone with my mother I had to go run for awhile just to not think, it was great. I usually am not that great at change but I have been feeling uncomfortable in my own skin for awhile so maybe this move will be helpful. So I have already made a list of my family's birthdays and such, now I need to start getting the ball rolling on other things.

To Do:
Start Packing and sorting through what I want to take to Ohio
Open a Bank Account in Ohio since they don't have Wachovia
Cleaning my apartment
Start Saying goodbye to people, Such as people who I always wanted to get coffee with.
Fix my Servant of Two Masters Book
Make Books fore the Summer
Email my ASM
Overall buck up and keep it together.

Officially as of now my plan is to come back from Ohio with some savings and look for cheap apartment in D.C. and get a real people job (unless I get an offer from my May 10th cattle call, which I hope I do) But I think I will need a SM job and a real people job. Well, time to get started on my escape from RVA. I really do love this city and with miss it.

You can only Take what you can carry

So I watched Up in the Air a little while ago, and the whole "what can you pack in your backpack" really got me thinking. Yes I do know that in the end of the movie his life is changed and he no longer ascribes to this philosophy blah blah blah, but still. Since I am graduating and moving on with my life very soon I need to reorganize by life to figure out what relationships are important and I will take effort to keep intact, other than on facebook. I am REALLY bad at keeping in touch and I need to fix that.

So my family is worried they will never see me again after graduation, an ungrounded fear but a fear for them non the less. So I need to keep a planner and write all my family's birthdays and mailing addresses down because it is the small things like cards on their birthday that remind them you love them. I will also make an effort to call my parents and sister every week, hopefully, and let them know I am alive. I will be the first in our tribe to really move far away from our tribal lands so they worry. My family in general is an tribe, we all have duties we perform and we work best when together, no one in my fam has ever been a loner, which is why it physically hurt a little not to be with them all the time. I always imagined myself and my sister hosting family gathering in our homes that are down the street from each other and the house we grew up in. I was born in the same house as I was raised, we never moved, we are people that put roots down. I have always struggled with the idea I might not always be in Virginia Beach, I really do want to raise my kids there.

Also, I have cultivated a wonderful and supportive Family at VCU that I have to keep in contact with.(I will elaborate in the future)

Well that is alot to spout. I will continue this after TOMMY opens, when my brain functions like a humans again.